Urban clown news report.

So, I’ve drinking these ‘diet mike-shakes’ ( insert that chuckle reserved for oxy-morons...or just morons )...drink’n these things, not because I need to lose weight really, but chewing has become a gauntlet of pain...and these things are like ‘cream of asphalt’ you know...like ban-saw shavings in vanilla chalk-water...shortly after you finish one of these fuckers, your stomach kind’a does a double-take...kind’a like the digestive equivalent of see’n one of those ‘magic-eye’ puzzles, ‘cept when you focus and the picture appears, it simply says “fuck you”...then your stomach precedes to clinch up for a second or two...and for like two hours you feel like maybe you should lie down....heh...maybe I should have played along and pretended it was a meal you know, take about twenty minutes to drink the thing...give my stomach some warning first with a few sips.